To dance well, you have to know How To Wait (Part I)

In the present moment, June 2008

"The most difficult thing in the dance is to wait"

Pablo Retamar

Occasionally during class, remarks casually uttered by teachers leave a lasting impression. These sayings, short, pithy, have the unwavering accuracy of a cobra's strike. They contain one part dance technique, one part philosophy and one part observation of the human pysche. The astuteness, simplicity and elegance of the observations have the blinding force of an epiphany.

These are moments of "wu" (悟 enlightenment) in my dance. In a flash, my mind crystalised into thought what my body has already unsubconsciously understood as a natural result of dancing and learning in Buenos Aires.


Why we Don't Wait when we Dance

There is no Time!
To function in the modern city life, we are almost conditioned not to wait. Existing in a world of high speed super-whiz bang technology, with its intrinsic work pressures, stressed time management, family commitments, there is never enough time. Work assignments with yesterday deadlines, impatient clients, traffic, crowded streets, long queues everywhere for food, to pay the bills, grocery shopping etc etc.

Time is a monster. To parody the saying, we have become Time's Bitch.


Faster! Higher! Stronger!
(apologies to the Olympic Games)
In our minds, waiting often implies = being slower, which in turn leads to = losing out. We are conditioned since young to excel. The competitive world tells us that the early bird gets the worm. We have to be faster (and hence better) than the next person. First product to market. First to reach the finish line.

The flipside of this mindset is a fear of failure. Being faster vindicates that we are not slow, we are not stupid.


The Dreaded Silence
Don't laugh when I say this☺. Majority of us will agree that most people do not handle silence well. It makes people uncomfortable. People feel obliged to make small talk, about the weather, traffic, news of the day, anything! to break the dreaded silence ie. the fear of not knowing what to say to fill up the space. It is the same with people making presentations or giving talks when not behind the safety of a podium, they have the awkwardness of not knowing what to do with their hands.

So from moment to moment in our normal daily routine, we feel we must do something to fill up space once it becomes available.


The problem is that unwittingly, we bring these attitudes and our insecurities even to our leisurely pursuits. This comes across in our dance.


What does it mean to "wait" in tango?
Dancing with someone who has not waited sufficiently feels like this. To use an analogy, it is like speaking to someone who is constantly giving an answer before we have finish speaking the entire sentence up to the full stop.

Let's flip the situation around. To continue in the above analogy, since we did not actually hear the complete sentence from our partner to the very last word, how would we know that we are giving the full response in return?

Of not waiting adequately : "Better" case scenario...
The "conversation flow" between the two dancer is on-going....but with maniacal overtones. Because one or both parties did not wait completely for the step to be fully conveyed before launching off on their own stride, there is no natural ebb and flow from one movement to the next. The movements lack a certain release, so overall there is a physical feeling that the shared dance has a faint echo of tautness.

So it is like this: Picture 2 persons on caffeine-high chatting about their favourite pastime :)

When we dance with excellent dancers, failure to wait completely is our loss since we miss out on the subtle nuances and cadence that makes their dancing so wonderful.

Of not waiting adequately : Worst case scenario...
We respond to our partner well ahead of time. In our rush to response, we did not anticipate that our partner's intended step is not as we had imagined. By rushing ahead (and guessing wrong), we have effectively robbed our partner of the choice of his/her intended next step after this step. Being able to give our partner the freedom of choice when dancing is a very nice thing to share.

Even if we made the right "guess", by not waiting enough, it is very likely the timing between one movement to the next will be out of sync.


Up to this point, perhaps some readers may have made the assumptions that the situations above apply solely to the follower's lapse in not waiting fully for the leader. Or it relates to dancing specifically in either open-embrace, or close-embrace.

In actuality, this quality of knowing how to wait in the dance is equally important, whatever the embrace, for both men and ladies alike.


Why do I say knowing how to wait fully applies equally to the men?

In the event there may be a small handful of unaware leaders out there who routinely fault only the ladies on being too quick on the trigger - leaders, let me tell you a well-known secret

~ You have to follow the ladies too ~

As much as we ladies must follow, leaders in return you have to follow the ladies. You must understand how to wait too, for that just right moment when our movements are complete, before you embark on the subsequent move.

Leaders who rush into the next step, you will produce a slight out-of-sync feeling which will decrease the quality of your dance.



More on knowing how to wait next.
-To be continued-

The In-s, Out-s & In-Betweens of the Embrace

In the present moment, Feb 2008

After these months in BA to date, what have I observed about the makings of a good embrace?

My thoughts today are not focused on the technicalities of the embrace: such as the merits of full chest-to-chest vs. a v-shape chest contact, or which direction the heads should face etc etc.

What I am interested in is a lot simpler than the complex dissections found in some of the forum discussions.

Before starting on this topic, here is a interesting observation about the ambience of the traditional milongas here. In striking contrast to the rushed pace of this frantic, restless city, nobody is much in a hurry in the milongas in Buenos Aires (at least among the portenos). Veteran milongueras, the women strike leisurely poses and nonchalant-charm. Perhaps taking extra care not to betray any anxiety or desperation for a dance.

Nobody starts dancing the second the music starts. Everybody chats amicably for a bit while waiting for the couple ahead to start off on the tango merry-go-around.

This attitude of unhurried composure is directly translated into the tango embrace.


Starting the Embrace: The In-s
The first step is moving into each other’s embrace peacefully. An air of quiet reassurance from the man says to the lady, come to me and trust me.

The leader sense that the lady has settled physically into the embrace before moving off. Leaders, if your partner has not settled into your embrace before you decide to move off, the jarring sensation would be felt immediately by both. A surprising start is perhaps not the best foundation for the tanda ahead.


Todo Tranquilo para Bailar I (For the Men)
Setting this tone of calm for the dance is important. Maestro Javier Rodriguez once said in a class, the gentleman should hold the lady in his arms like a baby during the dance.

What does Javier mean with this analogy? Think about about how it would feel. We would hold a baby securely in our arms, not in a tentative or frail manner (as if the baby will drop from our arms at any minute). Yet the hold is gentle, since we are not attempting a strangle-hold on the (poor) baby.

During the dance, we would take care to create a comfortable environment. Not to unduly startle the baby with sudden movements without adequate preparation to mark the move. The baby feels safe, secure and happy. Likewise gentlemen, it will be so for the ladies!


Todo Tranquilo para Bailar II (For the Ladies)
Ladies, the man has many responsibilities to take care of to dance with us. It is not an easy task. The important thing for us ladies is to remember to be relaxed in the embrace. By this, I don’t mean that the body turns to jell-o. While in this relaxed state, the core muscles sustaining our middle remains active. We hold ourselves and our own axis.

Tension or nervousness will be transmitted to our partner and make the man’s job to lead harder. This is very easily felt in the embrace. Vice versa for the men, of course.

Relax the mind so that we can better listen to what the men is communicating to us. Since I am a strongly visual person, it is my personal preference to close my eyes to reduce visual distractions. At least here in Buenos Aires, porteno ladies young and older keep their eyes open, or close as they please. So there is really no “rule” about this.


Beware the In-Betweens!
Leaders, don’t latch onto your partner throughout the break between songs in a tanda. The dance is over after the song ends. Now is the time to make social chit-chat, especially since the milonga is a social occasion to get to know your dance partner.

More importantly, doing so often implies an intimate intention. Not even real life couples hang onto one another for dear life during the break between songs within the tanda.



Ending the Embrace: The Out-s
Coming out of the embrace is a natural and mutual separation between the man and the woman. There is nothing very challenging or profound about it.

Once at Maipu 444, I danced a tanda with a tango visitor who had a most disconcerting way of dropping the embrace so fast, it felt as if we parted before the last note has ended for each song. Since this visitor cabaceo me for another tanda later, I concluded that the dancing was not objectionable.

Although I am sure he didn’t meant to be rude, his style of rapid separation gave the impression he does not know how to take care of a woman’s feelings or understand the mutual sharing during the dance.

It is possible to sense many things about our partner during dance. The overall impression I received from this gentleman is that the woman is simply a means to an end to dance tango.

Frankly, this is a terrible thought.


So what is the fundamental ingredient that makes an embrace?

Besides dancing close-embrace, I have had some excellent dances here in Buenos Aires in either open or semi-open embrace too, with shared mutual connection and enjoyment. There is no faking this feeling.

My final thoughts on the embrace is this:

Just because a couple choose to dance in close embrace does not automatically equate to a connection. This is merely form. It is what you give to one another and to the dance, genuinely. This is essence.

The Great "Lady Day" Part II: Tango Thoughts

In the present moment, Jan 2008

This is a blog about Lady Day, but it lead me to think about tango, or the pursuit of any art form in general.

It is natural that in our undertakings, those who excel at their art inspire us towards their greatness. Their inimitable style, grace and creativity give us fresh hope and energy. They become our role models, their accomplishments represent a path to follow suit in their footsteps.


In tango, many of us dance wanting to be someone else. Needless to say the same phenomenon occurs here in Buenos Aires, locals and visitors alike. Dancers spent their time following a particular tango celebrity, trying to emulate their dance style, steps or even the way of dressing.

To me, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to spend so much time and energy, only to become a clone of someone else. At best, we become a very very good copy of the tango celebrity.

So what is wrong with being a very very good copy?

For one, you will always be "second-best". Why define your own limits with someone's yardstick?

At worse, it will be akin to living a lie that you may never have the courage to emerge from.

The top tango maestros have strongly individualistic styles. They are iconic figures in tango not only because of their technical competence but because their dance is their own and nobody else's. They reached their level after many years of dancing and exploration to develop their dance.

The difference is to learn from them, instead of setting your heart to be like them. The best teachers will show you the means to become free in the dance. Don’t undo this gift from them.

So, if you have decided or you feel that tango is an important part of you, then perhaps take a look at what Billie Holiday said about her singing. At what other people said of her singing. In Charlie Parker's words: "Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn."


So live it, experience it. Have courage to find your own path in tango.


What is the first step to achieving this?
When you dance, dance with honesty. This way you will find your own dance in tango.

The Great "Lady Day": Part I

In the present moment, Jan 2008

My language exams seem a faint memory, I am fully enjoying my holidays. Even pleasurable activities like writing in this blog were left aside in the festive mood of December. Christmas passed in the midst of celebrations and a new year started in Buenos Aires for me. A new year comes with new hopes.

My thoughts turned to Lady Day for this entry and the next.

Billie "Lady Day" Holiday

I don't listen to much jazz. Billie Holiday is by far my favourite singer, although I admit I listen to her because the emotions are so raw in many of her songs. So paradoxically, I only listen her once in a blue moon.

I came across on this website some writing about Billie Holiday. It was taken from the book "BIG STAR FALLIN' MAMA - Five Woman in Black Music" written by Hettie Jones. Here is a section on how Lady Day sang:

"One day we were so hungry we could barely breathe. I started out the door. It was cold as all-hell and I walked from 145th to 133rd..... going in every joint trying to find work....... I stopped in the Log Cabin Club run by Jerry Preston... told him I was a dancer. He said to dance. I tried it. He said I stunk. I told him I could sing. He said sing. Over in the corner was an old guy playing the piano. He struck Trav'lin and I sang. The customers stopped drinking. They turned around and watched. The pianist... swung into Body and Soul. Jeez, you should have seen those people - all of them started crying. Preston came over, shook his head and said, "Kid, you win."

Billie Holiday was not quite seventeen then; it was 1932. Before she was done singing in the summer of 1959 many more people had cried over her Trav'lin All Alone and Body and Soul. There were popular songs, as were most others she sang, and a lot of other people recorded and performed them. But Billie transformed them. She was a jazz singer; she put the blues inside and made each song her own. She thought of her voice as an instrument: "I don't think I'm singing, she explained. "I feel like I'm playing a horn... What comes out is what I feel."

A lot of different feelings came out of Billie's horn - she sang for over twenty-five years, in the United States and Europe as well. She could be gentle, funny, sarcastic, heartbreaking. Her honesty about feeling was what made people cry; she found it hard to lie. Astonished critics cried: "'She appears to mean every word she is singing" and "You believed every word she sang." There were some words about which Billie was especially believable. People told her no one sang "hunger" like she did, or "love." She sang what she knew, a first rule in playing jazz as Charlie Parker explained it: "Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn." Billie said simply, "You just feel it, and when you sing it other people can feel something too."



These are some quotes by Billie Holiday about her own singing:

"I can't stand to sing the same song the same way two nights in succession, let alone two years or ten years. If you can, then it ain't music, it's close-order drill or exercise or yodeling or something, not music."

"If I'm going to sing like someone else, then I don't need to sing at all."

"I hate straight singing. I have to change a tune to my own way of doing it. That's all I know."

"If you copy, it means you're working without any real feeling."


And finally, this quote -
"No two people on earth are alike, and it's got to be that way in music or it isn't music."

Female embellishments: Part II

In the present moment, Oct 2007

Living up to her reputation as a mature and experienced dancer, Milena Plebs offers good advice on the attitude towards adornments (see preceding blog). It sparked off my own thoughts.

Many women are concerned about making beautiful and as many embellishments as possible. One reason of course is it an aspect of preening in the dance, the natural desire to look asethetically good. The other motivating factor is another aspect of preening, of showing that yes, I am capable of making these technically challenging moves. So hence, I am a better dancer than those who do less "moves". The desire to prove oneself in this manner gives rise to the anxiety mentioned by Milena.

Looking deeper into this topic: now, exactly what are female embellishments?

For me, the answer is - embellishments are one way of expressing the female voice in the dance.

The Female Voice
To me, embellishments are important in this context only - in that it is my expression of what I feel from the music. It is the female composition on the music.

One doesn't add embellishments in the dance "just because one can". We are not Sir Edmund Hillary climbing Mount Everest here. Women who understand this point are the wiser.

So, why do some embellishments done by one dancer seem so marvellous, while embellishments by another dancer are at best ho-hum?

Because the best embellishments seem exactly right for the section of music that it was done for. In short, embellishments are born from the woman's musicality and creativity.

A Question of Substance
Expressing myself in the dance is important.

For a start, remember that adornos are only one way of having a female voice. For the woman, there are other means of self-expression in the dance than making "visible" adornos. For example, the quality of my movement. The feel of my body in the mood of the music. Personally speaking, these qualities matter more to me than adornos, because my dance partner can feel these transmission from me, whether dancing in close or open embrace. It is the bodily pleasure in the dance that I want to enjoy, that I want to give back to my partner.

When I was young, I once read that Sarah Bernhardt (1844-1923), celebrated french stage actress, had a quality of voice that she could bring her audience to tears by reciting the alphabet. This statement was etched into my mind, although it was many years later that I fully savour its meaning.

The female maestro who I admire can transmit beauty in the dance simply by moving. Its not even her walk. Its how she moves. It is her.

Style is nothing without substance.

Now, what about the actual adornos themselves?
Adornos are nothing without musicality.

To train to do adornos cannot be separated from learning to express one's musicality. Perhaps, the only way to develop musicality is to dance and practise a lot. Most importantly, really listen to the music when you are practising the adornos. Listen to different orquestas, recognise the sentiments expressed in the music, experiment with how it feels on the music when you do different movements and how to time the movements.

But how to gain the ability to execute the move?

Thats what those tough technique exercises are for. They train your body in the movement, before one attempts it in the practica. Then, practise till the adornos do not interfer with your partner and the dance.

This is what Milena Plebs meant by "It is good to work on decorations so that they form part of the global dance, without interrupting the energy by doing them and keeping the connection with the partner at all times."

Finding Your Own Voice
In the first 2+ years of my dancing, I was almost stubbornly anti-adornos. From the start I believed I need to concentrate on the fundamentals long and hard. I felt the embellishments can come later on. My reasoning was that if I have the fundamentals, it shouldn't be very difficult to pick up the embellishments at a later stage.

Much later on, from doing technique exercises and from watching female dancers with excellent musicality, I started adding simple adornos to my repertoire. True enough, the simple ones were not terribly difficult to pick up (I didn't say I am doing them well).

What I discovered to be more important and challenging is to express them to the music. To grasp the right timing, with embellishments that are appropriate for the sentiments of the music, within the framework of the dance proposed by my partner. In short, finding your own musicality.

For myself, often I find enough gratification in expressing my joy in the music by quick rythmic taps to accent points in the music, rather than feeling it is essential to pull off something complicated and showy. Because my primary goal is to enjoy the music with my partner, respecting that my partner has a musical composition in mind, and to be in time for what is proposed so that the musical dialogue flows back and forth between the two of us.

At the end of the day, Milena put it best in her advice to us ladies:

"A time arrives when one relaxes, no longer worried about how many and how various embellishments one does, and paradoxically, they (the embellishments) begin to flow naturally, they respond to an inner security and an enjoyment of the female dance role."

Her concluding statement "I believe also that, many times, less is more......."


What about for the Men?
By the way, many of the same aspects apply to the men too.

Doing a lot of figures (no matter how well you lead them) and embellishments do not equate to musicality in dance. At best it was exercise on the dance floor. At worse, not only are you ignoring the music, you are ignoring the musical communication that I am trying to have with you. To put it in a not-so-nice way, you are actually "dancing" only with yourself.

Female embellishments: Part I

In the present moment, Oct 2007

This Sunday 21 de Octubre is El Dia de la Madre (Mother's Day) in Argentina. It is not intentional on my part but this month's musings have a strong female favour.

My thoughts on the subject of female adornments was sparked off by Milena Plebs, who wrote her views on this in her column in this month's El Tangauta:

"When taking tango classes, women request a lot to be taught embellishments. That is to say, the foot movements added by women, that are not, specifically, a response to the movement proposed by the leader"

"I perceive a lot of anxiety in a great number of the women attending our classes to learn to do embellishments. Many, pretty, varied and complex as possible!"

Milena Plebs, Page 35, Oct 2007 issue of El Tangauta

Milena went on to explain that early in her career, she too was preoccupied about how many decorations she was able to "put in" when dancing, feeling that her partner always "did more" than her... (since) the responsibility and complexibility of the creative part and the leading of the dance lies with the man.

Then she says "It is a priority to work on the basic technical facets of tango before devoting ourselves to decorations. Without a good base, balance, connection and response to our partner, we are not prepared to beautify our dance." She points out there are 2 groups of female embellishments: those done by the woman during the dance that should not interfere with the man, and those during the moments when the man pauses, giving opportunities for the woman to do embellishments.

Milena continues "It is important to be alert to the environment and to grasp the timing in the dance floor, so as to not over-extend ourselves.....without interrupting the energy by doing them and keeping the connection with the partner at all times"

"Choose the ones that feel comfortable to you, and it is better not to repeat or copy what others do.... At times one can see women that do too much, perhaps that is part of the anxiety that I mentioned before.."


And finally, her observation is this:

"A time arrives when one relaxes, no longer worried about how many and how various embellishments one does, and paradoxically, they (the embellishments) begin to flow naturally, they respond to an inner security and an enjoyment of the female dance role."